Cayman Road Hogs

It just pisses me off. And I'm livin' in de i-lands where life is meant to be chilled mon.

This is the worst part of Cayman I've experienced so far hands down (and we do so every day). From the Dickheads with their Hum-Vee's and the Knobs in their Dodge Calibre's (Oh, I'm so hardcore - don't mess with me I'll pound your puny vehicle into the ground), to the Tools in souped up sports cars (I can do Mach 1 by the time I run out of road), there is a brewing hatred for the ego's out there.

People talking on their cellphones, doing 70MPH (speed limit is around 40 most places) while overtaking at a corner of the dual carriage highway, just to get where they're going (presumably a burial plot with a view) 5 seconds faster.

Unfortunately, I'm not blameless. I flipped the bird at some guy while cycling today, because he overtook me with a fairly minimal distance between the car and my bike. I punctured his fragile ego with my sharpened middle claw, and he felt the need to defend himself with well constructed arguments such as "there was an oncoming car on the other side of the road you $%^#.", to which I countered, not quite as convincingly, "Well, why couldn't you just wait for it before overtaking me?". Clearly my argument was not as solid as his, as I kept the expletives in my head, and he went off satisfied that he'd proved his manhood to the world. Road rage may land another Knob in the slammer as he so rightly deserves, but the landing myself in intensive care, after a 2.0l Caliber to the head was not quite a fair trade-off. The imbalance of power in these type of showdowns is a case-study for Postal Worker gore-fests and bullet-riddled bullies bodies.

Ugh. And they're not killing each other off quickly enough either. There's only twelve pegging off every year.